Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
