Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
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can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.