Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
this boner is exhausting
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
