it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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