how can u be prego again
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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