I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
