Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize