I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
