so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
