Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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