You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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