I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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