yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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