i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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