god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Say something about gay babies.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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