Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
