I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
