Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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