Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
even my farts smell like vagina
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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