I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
