if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
