We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
