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i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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