I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
