i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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