I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
