I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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