Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
