At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
