fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
