My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
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