Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
