i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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