Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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