I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
