i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
