I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
