I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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