girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
