Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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