so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize