I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
It's shark week go big or go home
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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