He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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