When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize