That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
