does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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