so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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