is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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