i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
