She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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