u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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