my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
