this beer tastes like vomit already
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Sober January is a disaster.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
