I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You took a bar mat shot.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
