i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
