Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
