having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
this will be a night to untag.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
