She just used a chaser for red wine.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
