Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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