She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
